Who are you, what do you value and why do you exist?
“Know thyself” is the first of three ancient Greek Maxims. The other two being “Nothing to excess” and “Certainty brings ruin”. In the words of Aristotle “Knowing ourselves is the beginning of all wisdom”, implying that finding who you really are and understanding yourself is the basis of authenticity. Awareness of one’s own nature and character leads to clarity on one’s motivation, passion and drive. And this will prove useful in life generally but especially if you want to build self-reliance and an entrepreneurial mindset. In other words before you get to a business strategy you need to build a strategy for life.
Striking the balance between work and life can be challenging purely because for many of us our livelihood and life style are dependent on our work and we are constantly juggling priorities. Meaningful work that aligns closely with our personal values is always going to be more fulfilling and creating the time for enjoyment of life is just as important. Identifying our purpose in life is often nebulous and undefined leading to dissatisfaction and eventual burnout.
A survey by Gitnux in March 2023 shows that finding a healthy work life balance is becoming ever more challenging in the digital era. 72% of workers believe work-life balance is a critical factor when choosing a job, and 57% of job-seekers say a poor work-life balance is a dealbreaker when they’re considering a new job. In the US, 33% of employed adults work on an average Saturday, Sunday, or holiday. This has led 66% of full-time employees to say they don’t strongly believe they have a work-life balance. Only 23% of companies believe they are promoting work-life balance.
So why does self-awareness or self-knowledge matter? It helps to articulate the things you value and what you expect of yourself. Being clear on this will help you make conscious choices and decisions that will take you closer to your best life. As Carl Jung said, “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
Here’s a fun way to get to know yourself better, find your purpose and your power. Start by writing your own back story. It’s like creating a character in a novel or a play - only it’s a lot easier as you have your own experiences and history to draw upon. While you cannot change the past, you can learn from it. And going back in time to better understand the events that have shaped your life will help you make informed decisions in the present, in order to shape a future that is more aligned with your life purpose and goals.
Write your back story
Capture key life events
Categorize your life events
Take time to process
Analyze your belief systems
Identify gamechangers
#1 - Capture key life events
I like using mind maps to help organize my thoughts. I captured key life events and milestones throughout my childhood, youth and adulthood that had a profound effect on me. Things like births and deaths of loved ones, marriages and divorces, sickness or accidents, migrating to live abroad, impact of wars and economic downturns, leaving home to go to university, challenging relationships, experiences and interactions growing up etc. Download them all in random order and then start to group them rather than trying to remember them all in chronological order and plot them on a timeline of sorts.
#2 - Categorize events into positive and negative
I like to use highlighter pens or stickers to categorize the events into positive and negative. Then use word clouds to describe how each event impacted you emotionally or physically at the time – how did they shape your thinking and your expectations of yourself and others. Start to look for patterns and connections between the people and the events and the how they altered your thoughts, expectations and attitudes to the future. Did you build defense mechanisms as an emotional response to protect against similar experiences in future? Did you build confidence and interest in new and similar experiences? How did these events change your perspective on your own situation and life at the time and how did they shape the decisions that you made post the experience or event.
#3 - Process the life events
Grieve the loss of loved ones, think about why certain things happened a certain way, understand the circumstances the context. Think about how they could have played out differently. Release negative experiences as they will only hold you back. It’s easier said than done – I know – but engaging in positive self-talk, forgiving yourself and others, and adopting meditation and gratefulness practices will help.
#4 - Analyze your belief systems
What beliefs and conditioning are preventing you from progressing and which ones are propelling you forward. In many instances, you’ll find that the perceived negative events are the ones that generate the most positive forward movement. This is because they motivate you towards achieving the opposite of what you felt at the time. The positive events will reinforce the feelings of stability, security, happiness and general wellbeing but will possibly not excite any extreme emotions or desire to shift direction. Either way, this will help you identify what is important to you, what you stand for and what you will prioritize.
#5 - Identify the gamechangers
Find the one or two things that had the most profound impact on you and created a turning point in your life. Events that served as catalysts for change that made you pivot your thinking or shaped your behavior and moved you in a completely different direction. Something that inspired you or gave you an idea that you feel others may relate to or bet inspired by. Were there any tough mental, emotional or physical challenges that you had to overcome? Importantly though, if you were to share your story, might it help and inspire others move forward on their own journey.
Find your purpose and power
The secret to finding your purpose and power is to know yourself, what motivates you, what you are good at, what value you can create and what you are worth. It’s a process that spans self-discovery, self-awareness, self-development, self-acceptance and self-worth.
If you are thinking about new business ideas, having an impact at your workplace or finding your superpower it's useful to start with your purpose - your reason for being. The framework that I have found most effective is Ikigai - The age-old Japanese ideology often associated with Japan's long life expectancy and the secret to a long and happy life. The word literally translates to 'iki' meaning 'life' and 'gai' meaning 'worth'. The concept has 4 essential parts all of which converge to create a sense of life purpose and self worth. I've added a 5th for good measure and present day context of work life balance.
Do what you love
Do what you are good at
Do what the world needs
Do what you can get paid for
Do what you can sustain
#1 Do what you love
What are you passionate about? We all have things we care about deeply. They may not be lofty causes. They may be small everyday things that either inspire us or bother us at a deeper level. For me having a clear sense of what that is and the desire to act in a certain way to either enhance an existing reality or effect change, is what makes us authentic in our quest for purpose and meaning and in the way we find self expression through our passion and conviction.
#2 Do what you are good at
What's your super power? We all have natural talents - things that seem to require very little effort and give us great satisfaction. The things that we receive compliments about from our friends or colleagues. Things that we do in extraordinary or outstanding ways that create impact. Whether it is an artistic talent or mathematical prowess - it doesn't really matter. When we are good at something and have mastered it we will be seen as an authority in our chosen field and we have a clear vocation.
#3 Do what the world needs
What's your value? No matter what our occupation as individuals each of us is a business because we are creating and generating value. We may provide our talent, knowledge, experience and service to organizations for a salary or produce goods and services for consumption by other individuals or businesses. In doing so we establish our credibility based on the value that we generate and provide. As long as there is need for the value that we create, we have a mission.
4# Do what you can get paid for
What's your worth? We often equate worth to monetary value. Money is a certificate of appreciation for the value we generate. It is essential to know our worth and to understand that a fair value exchange is also a form of compensation even if it is not in the form of money. Our worth and our compensation will be in direct proportion to our capability and our chosen profession
I've added another dimension to this framework as I feel it is an important one to consider in the modern context of work and life, the relationship between the two and achieving work-life balance.
#5 Do what you can sustain
What can you do continuously? In a previous post I've talked about 'sustainable pace'. It is an essential aspect of achieving one's life purpose. Making incremental improvements to our lives requires consistency and creativity. To consistently create - that may sound like an oxymoron - but it is possible. The most important ingredient is time to think. Change is the only constant so it follows that one needs to have a strategy for sustaining consistent change.
So we are a great work in progress
Some of the most successful people in history have overcome adversity and their experiences have either propelled them forward to achieve greater things, find new business ideas or inspire others. It isn’t necessary though, that all success stories have their roots in adversity or hardship.
Like any story, our lives have a beginning a middle and an end. We go through several phases in our lives – it’s a continuous work in progress. It’s easy to get buried in the nitty gritty of everyday life and lose the awareness of who we are an how our views, beliefs, values, needs, desires, goals have changed over time. It’s good to take a step back and review this from time to time, especially if we feel stuck, bored, dissatisfied with life and are seeking a new direction or different destination. Understanding yourself and knowing who you are is the starting point to creating your future whether it’s finding work or hobbies you love, starting a business or building an authentic personal brand.
If you've found this post useful, please leave your questions, comments, share insights from your own experience, or perhaps different points of view. Follow me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Medium where I will be sharing more practical tips and content like this as well as strategy blueprints for business, brand, product and marketing. I’d love to have your feedback. Join the conversation and share this with your network - knowledge shared is power multiplied.
If you are an aspiring solopreneur or an entrepreneur and need strategic business and brand advice or even an intrapreneur who wants to catalyze change within your organization, visit brandcrib.com and join the community. Alternatively email me on georgette.kolkman@brandcrib.com. I’d be happy to help.
Wishing you success, prosperity, personal growth and positive change.
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